Clarity with time

It is amazing with passing time that clarity of behavior becomes more apparant. I spent twleve years in a relationship of deception and trapped with low self esteem. I can say I walked away from that bitter and cautious. Most of that being subconscious. When I met my current husband, I was not looking for a relationship matter of the fact it was the furthest thing from my mind. What happened over the next few months was ochrestrated by something beyond our control. He remembers me from the age of nine unfortunately I do not remember him. I went to school with his Aunt and Uncle (he is only 4 1/2 years younger then me). I met his mother and was reaquainted with his Aunt just two months prior to even knowing of his existence. It was after talking one day we connected everything. He had lived in the same area in Traverse City off and on for the last twenty years that I had resided in, since this is officially my second time back since I first move to GR. Our time together become progressive more often and longer. It was amazing it was if we were puppets of someone elses play. Some how we both knew we belonged together. He asked me to marry him after three months I think this startled him as much as it did me but for some reason it just seemed right.

In the midst of planning a wedding I became pregnant. This was a total shock to me but a delight to him. How could this be I was taking birth control, though I had just been sick and doing an antibotic series? I had just seen the doctor. Like me TJ has the belief things happen for a reason. I was just struggling with this because things were happening way fast. Now this five and 1/2 years has not been peaches everyday we both have a lot of baggage and trust issues. Though I do have to say that TJ and I are best friends and have weathered some pretty tough situations. Everyday we let go of our insecurities and put our trust in one another a little deeper. We live as if we only have one another and our kids.