Love of Nature

Above is the lovely plant my parents gave us for our anniversary in April. I stopped hanging plants on my front porch because my love of nature made it difficult to evict its yearly resident. Below you see her and one of her two fledgings. They are gone now and so is the plant. But I have the picture forever.

Natalie Hollaway with or without drama

Here is the newest tragedy that has my undivided attention. First and foremost my prayers go to the family of Natalie. I have listened and read many different sources that are reporting this. I much rather read because I get a little annoyed when a reporters personal opinion comes out during a broadcast. I believe it is there job to report not convict. If as a nurse I didn't keep my opinion away from the bedside some of my patients would not recieve the care they need. Of all the people FOX News has Geraldo Riveria reporting for them in Aruba. I lean a little closer to CNN for broadcast because they seem to have less drama more story. Not everyone on FOX is dramatic just a few. It is sad case that may never see justice along with the million more that just do not get reported or have the money flow for greasing the political squeaky wheels necessary to get attention. Though saddened that a young girls life may have come to an end I am more saddened with the state of our economy, our political leadership, our drive to increasing demands causing stress induced illness and deaths and our overwillingness to ignore it all and turn our backs on those who don't.

Hindsight and kids

It is amazing how hindsight and kids can help you understand your parents better. Though it doesn't say everything they said and did was right it just gives you a better understanding. I look at my children and I hear my mouth in my seventeen year old and I see my drama in my three year old. The hindsight helps keep me grounded and realize that they are just children and I myself put my parents through their own challenges. It is time for me to rise up to the challenges and hopefully the way I handle and solve them will be the basis for my children to pass on.

Unpersonalized Service

Is human contact in our service industry becoming obsolete. There is a machine pretty much for everything. At the grocery store I can check out my own groceries and bag them. I can buy a soda to fill on my own. I can buy stamps from a machine. I saw a instant ticket lottery machine. In my opinion you buy your house to get away from people but when I go to the store and I am giving up the amount of money that I spend I expect to be waited on. These machine are another form of outsourcing. Several young people were displaced when our grocery store introduced self check out and carousel bagging in which the cashier now becomes the bagger. How much can we consolidate and eliminate before we soon discover this quick and easy way has just made us less human and more machine. Now don't get me wrong I love technology but at what risk? I think if we can develop the technology we must somehow remember that it is feeling, thinking and emotional human that uses it.

Terry Shiavo-Let her rest

For goodness sake people. I can not believe it, here we go again the finger pointing and mudslinging and the government trying to control it all. Everyday around the world there lies Terry Shiavo's dying in the most humane way. Opening this case again with the 911 tape is only a slap in the face to the rights of all. The right to die with dignity and peace. I again repeat this is a personal and moral issue that is best left alone with the family not made a political platform. My thoughts go to Terry's angel as she looks upon this earth and sees the chaos she has finally left behind.

Out of the mouths of babes

As most parents could share their children say some of the funniest things. I especially find it humorous when a child is unable to pronounce certain syllables or letters. I remember my oldest son who is now going on seventeen announced one day while getting a bath that he did not want me to "pamshoo" his hair. It sure brought giggles from me of course encouraging the mispronunciation. His other famous line was the respected "mailmail man" this still makes me laugh. You try to say the "mailmail man" brought mail 10 times really fast.

I again enjoy this lovely stage of development with my three and half year old. His "F's" are "B's" and he is unable to pronouciate his "st". He ran around the yard one day shrilling as three year olds do screaming "look at the buzz, look at the buzz". I frantically looked for the bee not wanting him to be stung but could not see anything. "Mom, look at the buzz". Then it dawned on me I needed to mow the lawn and dandelions had matured and looked like little "fuzz" balls all over the yard. Now on that same day imagine my husband and my look. We live across the street from a very busy hair salon and surrounded by retirees. Our son was busy playing with a stick. It was quite a big stick so I was determined to remove it from him. I coaxed him near me and I grabbed it. "Let go of my dick" was shouted at decibels beyond embarassament. We tried not to laugh but that was too much.

Opposites

You and me are opposites

but the same you see

Black and white

are just shades of grey

You play the music

While I provide the song

You and me are opposites

but the same you see

Though we are but two

together we are one

Serendipity 2005

Best of friends

If you choose to spend a lifetime with someone it is extremely helpful if this person is your best friend. My spouse and I fundamentally share the same philosophy in life. I admire his literal view on all of lifes topics and he admires my ability to interpet them. We are fotunate enough to be able to stop and share some of the most intense moments with one another. Though our greatest desire is to get away once in awhile, this has become a monsterous task. We try to make the most of our quiet moments few and far between. We have been stealing as many of these moments as possible. We have gone into deep discussions about our upcoming move to Eugene Oregon. We have wondered if we just keep it simple when we leave if it would enhance our relationship even more. Our goal is just over a year away. Circumstances may keep us here until the end of July but either way it is not too far away. I spend my days reading the Eugene newspaper and checking out the web cams that are linked to it. This has been my constant for well over a year now. I love checking out the Owen Rose Garden. I know when get there I am going to stand there and look west in to the webcam and wave because my dream has begun and I am sharing with it my best friend.

Link

Help, let me out

Where in the hell is the manual to parenthood? I would deeply appreciate whoever has it pass it over. I am especially interested in the section on teenagers and the stupid things they do. My 16 year old almost 17 years old who is currently grounded for lying and being caught decides that it is okay to go swimming after school without telling anyone. Meanwhile I am at work calling all the available people I can find to locate this AWOL child. My husband is out driving the neighborhood. I am forced to even resort to calling the police to get them involved now. Who would saunter in like everything is okay? I wanted to throttle this child. He disrupted several peoples life for a little swim and makeout session with his older girlfriend. His excuse, you don't understand I just can't take it any more. Take what? I just can't take the rules any more. OH MY GOD, my words return to haunt me.

Bird Song

As this hot, muggy day continues to unfold I reflect back to its early start. I awoke early as usual around 0630. It was already starting to heat up. I woke my husband hoping to steal a few quiet moments with him before the rest of the world made its presence known. We assumed our early morning positions on our front porch. Being Sunday most of our neighbors were still fast asleep. We were greeted with natures stereo. There was the soft coos of the ground doves especially from the one that has turned our anniversary plant into a nest. The grackles litted back and forth with the high pitch tones and screams as they called to one another when they found a morning bounty of newly laid grass seed. The squirrels chatted amongst the trees tops. Then through it all came the rhythmic tapping of a woodpecker. My ears perked up as I search nearby perches for a glimpse of this rare visitor to town. I secretly hoped for a Pilated Woodpecker since I will never forget my first sighting of this large bird resembling that which I had become familiar with in cartoons. The woodpecker has not been in the neighborhood long maybe two weeks we've been hearing it.

I watched the ground doves chase one another in and out of the tree branches. The elusive woodpecker continued on. It brought out a curious onlooker from the next block over. The lady searched her trees but did not seem to see anything. The noise stopped, only for a moment though there it was again this time louder and closer. I got a little excited and began an earnest scan of nearby trees. Moments later it got my attention, a small male downy woodpecker making quick work of the telephone pole across the street. It brought me a smile that I relished on my own since my ethusasim with nature is not quite shared to same extent with my husband. He found it interesting just not exciting. As quick as he came he was gone which surprised me but I came to understand why within minutes. A quick heavy downpour drenched us and made the need to mow the lawn move further down the priority list.

Link

Short Bus of Life

The most talked about topic in our household between my husband and I has been the existence of our relationship. He keeps trying to figure out what attracts us to one another, why did it happen? I tell him it just is. Growing up I was pretty much a loaner. Liked by many, accepted by none. This came truly evident lately when I received my old elementary and junior high yearbooks from my parents. The things people said about me. There was a running theme apart from my physical appearance. A nice girl but really "weird". What is weird? Maybe I was misunderstood. I never felt like I was not smart but I did feel as if I was not challenged. I always felt there was more and I think I always looked for that answer. I think I still do. I felt as if I was put on the short bus of life because of my differences and now 38 years later I am looking for a transfer and the "weird" has returned or am I just misunderstood.

Giving up your source

I am by no means a journalist or great author. What I am, is person who believes in the freedom of the press. I believe that everyone is entitled to write out that which they find on their mind. I love to write. I sometimes write about things of nonsense quality or about reality but neverless I get to write that down and publish it here on the internet for thousands of people to share. To me that may be the closest I may ever get to being an author or journalist. I have respect for those who do this for a living. I may not have to seek out individuals to tell a story because I have many of my own. I can not believe that we are having to defend the right to protect whistleblowers, deep throats, or sources of information. Asking reporters to give up their sources to me is like asking all the undercover cops to wear hunter orange. Nothing like a walking target. If the CIA or FBI thinks that they could continue operations without their sources they are nuts. Like a good chess game there is a check mate. Whatever the motive for someone to come forward in confidence I feel is answered in the reporting of a good journalist. Whether it is to expose a illegal operation, to protect the well being of others or to dethrone those that are abusive the power of authority.

With certain jobs their comes a risk both written and unwritten. Those working in high positions know that when they handle issues of security and confidences they are risk of being exposed at any time whether from the inside or out. It is just part of the political arena. If you are willing to come and play the game then you must be willing to challenged. Reporters run risk that the information they report on can turn back on them and that's part of their job. To take away the commonality of sources from these two enitys, the reporters and politicians, is the demise of everyone. Thousands of men and woman have fought and continue to fight to protect even this basic right of confidentiality. Our military would not succeed in some cases if it wasn't for the use of confidential sources to penetrate the inner workings of some terrorist groups in other countries. So to waste time and energy trying to convict journalist for doing a job well done or what they feel is their duty to me is hippocritical of our judicial process.

Those in position of power need to hold up the mirror and take a good long look. Confidentiality is the at the very center of all relationships personal, business, political and or elsewise so let us not argue over whether it is right or wrong and stop wasting our time and tax dollars.

Link