Help, let me out

Where in the hell is the manual to parenthood? I would deeply appreciate whoever has it pass it over. I am especially interested in the section on teenagers and the stupid things they do. My 16 year old almost 17 years old who is currently grounded for lying and being caught decides that it is okay to go swimming after school without telling anyone. Meanwhile I am at work calling all the available people I can find to locate this AWOL child. My husband is out driving the neighborhood. I am forced to even resort to calling the police to get them involved now. Who would saunter in like everything is okay? I wanted to throttle this child. He disrupted several peoples life for a little swim and makeout session with his older girlfriend. His excuse, you don't understand I just can't take it any more. Take what? I just can't take the rules any more. OH MY GOD, my words return to haunt me.