Fear

Fear is this the ultimate drive in our house in our lives. We each have a different fear that is motivating us. My husbands fear of loss of freedom consumes him somedays. In some ways it is good he recognizes his limits but in other ways it saddens me. I fear being left all alone. My husband say he is not leaving me he is securing his freedom he will be back to get me when things are safe. He has been trying to leave for years now to protect him or my son. How is this fair to me? I love my son? I do not care what they say it is not all my husband. Don't I deserve some happiness? I am stuck in the middle. My own father perserved his marriage by letting his children go, did he love us any less I did not think so. So why is this such a task. I want happiness for my son and safety.

We have 6 months before my son is an official adult. Meanwhile we struggle with all kind of issues here. I am stuck with a dilemma. I don't want to be forced to send him to his dads where I don't think it is in his best intrest. Especially with school almost done. Life sucks. Why can't we all get what we need and desire? I have worked so hard for what? I am tired of feeling unimportant. I do matter. I did exist for 38 almost 39 years. I am not crazy. Walk in my shoes I challange you.