Chaos within

Every few months this household will escalate to chaotic proportions. My 16 year olds disorder is getting worse and our tolerance wears thin. If you are just joining this conversation go back and refer to my previous post on Schizophrenia. It can be frustrating day in and day out even for us that know him as well as we do. He can talk in circles. His conception of time is nil. He can look at the clock and tell you what time it is but has no idea what one hour is. The other day we had company for the evening and my son had to work. As if on cue he got ready for work at two o'clock despite my insistence that he had four hours before he had to be to work. It just frustrated him not to get ready so I let him. Mistake #1. He proceed to get ready and then sit there and stare yes stare at us and our guest waiting to leave. He became agitated as time proceeded so I sent him to his room to entertain himself. Mistake #2. He was up stairs every 1/2 hour wondering if it was time to go yet.(he does have a clock in his room) So at four o'clock I asked him to go to the store three blocks away to get me a soda. You would of thought I had asked him to go across town on foot. He insited he did not have time and he was going to be late for work. With my persistence and reinsurance he would not be late he relucantly left to retrieve my soda. Mistake #3. He returned with the soda with quite a haste in his step, the paranoia had kicked in and he was sure that I had lied to him. My soda was shaken which I only realized when I opened it only to shower the kitchen and myself as my son laughed hysterically. I immediately sent him to his room in my own frustration as our gueat and my husband looked on unaware of what just happened. This is only but a moment in a day with my son. This is a small glimpse of what our days are like with him. We have him a such a routine and this is his only survial skill.

People that do not understand our son or even people that mentally impaired think we are strick and cruel. Actually I think we are very soft on my son but we are consistent. He does same thing every day and has the same responsibility every day. We do not have high expectations of him we just expect him to do his daily things without fail. When he fails to remember such as bring up laundry on Mondays or even showering more than one time his punishment consist of writing the task anywhere from 200-1000 times. It will depend on the severity of the lack of task, how many times was he reminded and did he give us problems when asked. During the previous episode I noted that my son's work shirt was filthy. I asked him to change his clothes and nicely reminded him it had been a while since he had brought his laundry up. Now this was a Saturday. It had been two weeks since he had brought his laundry up and this had been about his fifth reminder in two weeks that laundry was to be in the kitchen on Monday. Fast forward to Thursday. No laundry was brought up at the dinner table I noted that my son was donning a shirt I had not seen before. I told him I see he went through some clothes to find clean ones. At this point I asked him what he felt his punishment should be since it has now been three weeks since any of his laundry has been done. Nothing he said of course because he will remember now. No good. One thousand sentences I will bring my laundry up on Mondays. The laundry is to be in the kitchen Sunday morning and he has until Monday morning to finish the sentences.

This is my frustration as a parent of a mentally challenged child. That he will he be able to do the simple things in life. He has to have clean clothes to work. He has to be able to make simple things to eat. He has to be able remember to practice hygiene. He has to be able to shop. I have spent seven years teaching these simple basic skill to survive. He can do his own laundry unfortunately he has limited understanding of timetables therefore he is either doing it every day or not at all. I can't afford to pay the increased water bill or detergent use. He has done laundry supervised it is just easier for me to wash and dry and he fold and put away.

We approach that magic age of 18 soon, when society expects him to function as responsible adult. As a parent your time to mold your children is so limited and you can't help wonder if you did it right. But then what is right, yours or mine. My only hope is that he lives as productive life as he is capable but most importantly that he is safe from hisself and others.