Complexity of thought

I am amazed at people. My favorite thing to do is just to listen to the things they say and watch what they do. I have become a sponge over the years. I know this much I have no fight left in me. I know that I have changed. I learned a few years back if you have high expectations, expect disappointment. It has been a long couple weeks. Emotions runnning. Just when I thought the tears had come to an end more come pouring out and the memories flooded my mind. I really enjoyed the family time but the circumstances sucked. Sometimes I am not sure if I have put myself to far outside the loop and there is no hope to make it in or that is the way that is the way it is suppose to be. I feel uncomfortable imposing myself on others at this point because that's what it would have to be now the connection is just not there. Either way I just cherish the few moments I do get. I appreciate what help is there and have no expectations.