The lies

The lies we tell ourselves to make it day to day. I the feel biggest lie I have is not being ME all the time. I ask myself why? The only answer I come up with is fear of rejection. I have myself quite a collection of masks to wear. It all depends who I am with. My husband is probably the only one who sees me in my rawest form but then I also hide from him. My mother knows a little more but that is because our relationship is not the typical mother/daughter realtionship. My father definitely doesn't see who I am nor do my brothers, coworkers or majority of society. Each has their glimpse and opinions of who I am my values and my morals but none really know and it is frustrating especially when the undercut me and don't give me credit. In some ways I am private but in other ways I am very obvious.
There is a movie the name has escaped me at this moment but it has Susan Serandon and Goldie Hawn who in their youth were groupies and proud of it. In their adults only the character played by Goldie Hawn stayed true to herself. When she went to see her friend they each were taken back by who they were. The character played by Susan had become what society had expected of her. Though she appeared happy and was coping with life she lived a lie. She had buried her past and here it was again staring her in the face. She finally gave in and reclaimed that happiness of herself. I surely related to this movie it left me asking myself alot of questions. I watched that movie almost a year ago and it still is fresh in my mind so I know this is issues I struggle with on a daily basis. They say knowing is half the battle. The other half of this battle is a struggle, a struggle that I will continue to face and hopefully conquer. (The movie is The Bangor Sisters).